TIME IS BUT A DREAM

Time is a weird phenomenon. Intangible, in many aspects created by man. Yet the progressions of life and the space between memories and the present moment grow more vast with each new day. As a child you never really pay much mind to the passage of time. On those long summer days time seems like some made up story as your day quickly turns into night. Yet time organizes humanity in an orderly fashion laced with societal expectations of how to or not to spend your time. Schools train little humans to be on time, prompt and attentive; higher education repremands for “loosing track of time” associating it with laziness or irresponsibility. Yet here we are growing into adults “busy"-ing” ourselves leaving many with no time. No time to be bored, no time to be curious. Some find relief in a bottle of booze while others find relief in there 1 week paid vacation.

If death taught me anything it is the illusion of time. The ways in which society has claimed so much of the facts as truths when really they are just adopted guidelines implemented for order and adopted without thought for generations. My son Legends life seemed like eternity and a split moment in time all in one? Surely science nor time can explain that phenomenon. At his time of death it felt like days in agony but seconds since he was last up and running about. And in the hours, days, weeks, months and years since his passing the passage of time is the only marker of distance or quantifiable measurement of life pre and post. Orions life and Legends death and the time measured between those major events is incomprehensible. How can Legends life have felt eternal and mere seconds all in one. How can Orions life feel so new and so timeless? How can my daughters toddler years feel like yesterday and a lifetime ago? Time makes absolutely no sense but complete sense all in one breath. With each new life that I have helped usher the moments prior to this one right now have turned to stardust.

For much of my childhood I felt like we were chasing time. Like there was always a hurry to get somewhere quick or finish something quick or accomplish something quick before it ran out. I envisioned life following a specific path with milestones reached at certain ages to give me the key to unlock the next level. Unconciously I adopted the belief that if the milestones were not reached than the key to the desires that brewed deeply within me would never be attained. Yet it was my deep desires and curiosity that whispered “that cannot be true” over and over until I could no longer. sit idle. I had to act on my curiosity and experiment with the concept of time, push the boundaries and discover the multidimensional aspects of what I believed to be a one dimensional concept.

Time and the measurement of time can be dated back to ancient Egyptians. The purpose was to have a measurement of daylight for planting, events etc. The measurement of time was in flux with the length of each day and as the seasons changed so too did the amount of time in a day. Ancient Egyptians believed time to be the disappearance of energy. To literally be the dissolving of energy in each moment. With each atom in our body containing its own energy sources we can quite literally say each breath, each second is the dissolving of energy.

In modern day society our time is bought in order for most to survive and hopefully thrive. We trade it for a tangible currency in which we use to nourish, care and provide for (and if we are lucky) enjoy the luxuries of this life. The philosophies, origins and ancient rituals around time are fascinating and also highly debated. Each moment humans inch one step closer to finality. Yet many lack the understanding of the intangible nature of their own existence. We run around “doing” as if we have all the time and no time all in one.

In a modern world that requires so much of ones time I wonder what it would be like to live and be In each moment, to not be in the future or stuck in the past. To be all in! Fueled by curiosity and creativity. I wonder what each individual could do; how much they could wow themselves if they surrendered to this organizational structure that often times restricts rather than expands? What would you do if you were not worried about the passage of time? What would your life look like if you surrendered to the mystery and trusted in your deeply seeded knowing and curiosity? What would your embodiment feel like if you could relax and follow your heart without worry of not being where you thought you should be in that time and space? I ask these questions of you because they are ones I revisit often. With this experience of loss it has allowed me to harness the present moment, to see a world beyond what was so one dimensional. At times I notice the resistance as I push up against my edge. It is the wise voice within, the one that connects all living beings that whispers and reminds me that the magic, freedom and healing lies in the surrender.

Time is neither good nor bad. It just is. One thing we can all agree on is that with each moment we are slowly dying, and in each moment we are living. The duality of time and existence is real. When the layers of societal expectations of time are peeled away we are left with the raw and real truth that can make us feel vulnerable to our own life. To live is to die and to die is to live. One cannot be had without the other and for this reason we must not focus on the trappings of time, rather embrace the impermanent beauty that this lifetime has offered us. Get curious, make mistakes, be bored, harness your creativity, kiss a little bit longer, push your edge, unfurl, dive deep and really get into the juicy splendor that your existence is energetically desiring. Because if not now, when?

All my love,

Chloé